Life Stories
“Tell us a story about the war,” we asked our dad as he sat at the head of the dinner table, mom to his right side and six children occupying the remaining little spaces. The years after WWII in the Netherlands were sober and the meals at our dinner table simple. Only on Sundays would we enjoy either a cup of soup before the main meal, or a small dessert after. Luxury or abundance were not words we connected to food in those days. Yet, we had luxury and abundance. We enjoyed the luxury of having time to sit together and listen to an abundance of life stories. As my mom described catching frog spawn from the backyard creek running of her parental home, we could almost see the slippery creatures escaping through her fingers and feel the wet handkerchief pulse with living, moving baby toads in her pockets. Goosebumps would run over our backs as we listened as dad told about raiding a Dutch prison to free some of his colleagues from the Underground Resistance. History came alive right there at the dining table. As the stories unfolded, we crawled under the storytellers’ skin and experienced their lives. We felt bonded and connected and proud to be in their presence. Without realizing we learned life lessons and bits of wisdom. We loved our parents as they allowed us to know their joys, fears, failures and accomplishments. Their stories were a gift of themselves.
Unfortunately, present days don’t afford this kind of luxury and abundance. Contemporary culture in general no longer provides a place for families and friends to sit together and listen to each other’s stories without interruption. Families are scattered and MySpace has the younger generation occupied. Children and grandchildren often are too focused on everyday responsibilities to pay attention to the older generation. Yet, people need to feel connected to other human beings and life stories need to be passed on.
Participating in Life Review Groups provides us with such an opportunity. As we share our stories with others, we gain insight into how life is experienced from the inside. This is especially important for the older adult who, with the diminished capacity typical of the later years, needs to feel his or her life made a difference, and that it has purpose or effect on the world. Participating in Guided Autobiography Groups is an efficient way for older adults to review their lives. A proven series of evocative themes and questions (Birren method) promote participants to reflect and share with each other.
Offering Life Review services has opened my eyes to the fact that no matter what age, culture or religion, some of the challenges of life seem to be universal. Each participant has dealt with losses one way or the other; each participant is in need of love and acceptance and needs to know that others care before they disclose or unfold themselves; each participant needs a safe place to share their stories; and each participant needs to know that their life has had value and meaning.
It is my greatest joy to invite you to join one of our StoriesUnfolding ongoing events, and experience for yourself the life-giving transformation that comes from the unfolding of your life story.